Today has been a very emotional day for me for many reasons. This is the 11th Mother's Day that I have had to endure without my mom and for that reason it is very sad. This is also the first Mother's Day that I get to celebrate with Orion and that makes me so very happy. One minute I am crying because I miss my mom and the next minute I am crying because I look over at Orion and feel so blessed to call him my son.
My mom was the most incredible mom in the world, those of you who know her will agree with me. She made me feel so special every day and even though I only had her for almost 21 years she taught me many things in such a short time. I like to think I am a little like her with a few things. I like to mow the lawn like she did, and for her this weekend I mowed the lawn cross ways like she loved to to. I also love to read like she did. Every time I pick up a book to read to Orion I remember her saying that she was never too busy to read to a child. She read to her nieces and nephews and to her two grandchildren that she got to meet, Jerod and Tommy. I also make sure that when I am rocking Orion to sleep I take the blanket and pull it up over his ear. My mom was magic when it came to putting babies to sleep and she always made sure their ears were covered.
I am trying to pass on everything to Orion that my mom taught me. I want him to grow up knowing that his mommy loves him so much and always will. I want him to grow up saying that he had the Beaver Cleaver life like I did, although he probably won't know who Beaver Cleaver is! I tell Orion about his Grandma Dotti in heaven who watches over us and I swear I can see her smile at me through him.
As I write this Kevin is reading books to Orion and I am watching them thinking that this is the best Mother's Day ever because I got to spend the entire day with my husband and my son. If my mom was still here I would call her and simply say "thank you for being the mom that I hope someday to be".
2 comments:
Oh my gosh, This day is emotional and just got even more for me. I did think of that today when we chatted, but I would not think to get you upset, so I didn't say how much I was thinking about you and your Mom. I cry with you Beck, just knowing how much you and your family miss your Mom. Time passes and they say it gets easier. Although it may not be a crying fest daily, your heart still aches everyday, for the voice, laughter and smiles of those who have left us. Unfortunately I never got to meet your mom, but it does not take much to see how she shines through your family.
I am not a very religious person, but I do believe (especially from the day you were married with those bueatiful Eagles) that she does watch over you. I am sure somewhere she is beaming with overwhelming pride and knows that you will carry on many of her caring and nuturing qualities. She and your wonderful father have raised some great kids and you are very lucky to have that within your reach. All I can say is your a great person and I am blessed to have you as part of my family. Hold on to all memories and you will pass on to Orion all that your mom hoped to herself.
I love ya Beck and I am thinking of you and your familiy
XOXO
Your loving Sis In Law
Becky,
Your mom was the best! I still remember her sending all us college kids a card for every holiday with her perfect handwriting! What a great way to honor her by keeping up with her traditions around the house and with Orion.
Happy 1st Mother's Day to you!
Penrose
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